Joint custody is often the best case scenario for children involved in a divorce because it allows them to continue spending time with both parents fairly equally. While it is good for children, it is often difficult for parents who are trying to move through the process together. Below are some tips for parents that are trying to make joint custody work for them and their children.
Always Put Children First
First and foremost, the children should always be the priority of you and your spouse. For example, if you and your spouse agree that piano lessons will happen on days when your ex-spouse has the child, sometimes that day may have to be moved when your child is with you. This may cause an inconvenience, especially if you need to drive across town to attend the lesson. However, that small nuisance is not as important as your child learning the skill, particularly if your child enjoys it. Always think about how a situation will affect your child, and not necessarily you.
Communicate With Your Ex
Even if you no longer feel friendly towards your spouse, you will have to communicate with them when you share custody. This will help ensure you keep consistency between the two homes, that you each know certain schedules, and that you both know what is going on with your child.
Keep Things Respectful
Divorce can bring with it feelings of anger and resentment. However, you should never let these feelings spill over into the custody situation once the divorce is finalized. This is the only way to ensure your children do not feel as though they must choose sides, and can help strengthen the relationship between you and your children. Even if the children become angry at their other parent, it is important not to indulge those feelings but instead, talk to your children about it, emphasizing that your ex only wants what is best for them. When your children are older, they will appreciate the respect you showed your ex, and show that same respect to each of you.
You likely want to spend as much time as possible with your children. Unfortunately, that is likely not always possible. You will still have work commitments, and may not be able to spend every weekend with them, even if you want to. Remain realistic about how much time you can spend with your children, even if it is not as much time as you would like. If you take on too much, there is a good chance your children may feel ignored and that you are not interested in them.
Need Help with Custody Issues? Call Our Michigan Family Lawyers
When a divorce involves children, custody issues are going to come up. Do not go through them alone. At Iafrate & Salassa, PC, our Bloomfield divorce lawyers can help you understand the child custody laws in the state and will negotiate with the other side to get an arrangement that is as agreeable as possible for everyone. If you are considering divorce, or if proceedings have already begun, call us today to schedule your free consultation so we can start reviewing your case.