Telling your children you have decided to get a divorce is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. It is natural to struggle with knowing what to say, and when to tell your kids. Generally speaking, it is best to tell them as soon as possible. Children are intuitive, and if something is wrong in your marriage, the chances are good that they already know about it. With this in mind, it is still important to remember certain things when it is time to have the conversation.
While you should tell your children about an impending divorce as soon as possible, there are certain times when you should not tell them. First and foremost, do not bring up the topic with your kids unless you are certain that you are getting a divorce. For example, if you and your spouse plan on living together for another year, it may not be time to bring it up just yet. However, if a child custody agreement is going to go into effect, or one of you will be moving out in two or three months, it is best to have the discussion now.
You should also not tell your kids around a birthday or holiday in the home, as this can result in them associating that time of year with a very sad period in their lives. Also do not tell them just before they go to bed or as they are heading out for an event. You want to make sure you have time to talk to them, answer their questions, and listen to their concerns.
Every family is unique and there is no one way to bring up the topic of divorce. The most important thing is that you and your spouse tell them together, and that you do not assign blame. Blaming your spouse for the divorce in front of the kids could lead to feelings of resentment between everyone, and you need to present a united front. Doing so will show your kids that you are committed to co-parenting together, regardless of what happens in your marriage.
No one knows your kids better than you do, and it is important to consider how they may react. They may become extremely sad, or even angry. Try to anticipate the reactions you may face, and how you will deal with them, so you can address as many of your child’s concerns as possible.
If you have made the difficult decision to divorce, our Clinton Township divorce lawyers at Iafrate & Salassa, P.C. can help you throughout the entire process. We will advise on the legal issues you will face, and help you resolve them in a way that is most favorable for you. Call us today or fill out our online form to schedule a free consultation.
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