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What Should I Do if My Ex-Spouse is Violating the Custody Order?

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What Should I Do if My Ex-Spouse is Violating the Custody Order?

12 / August 2025

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What Should I Do if My Ex-Spouse is Violating the Custody Order?

When your ex-spouse seems to treat your established custody order flippantly, you may be left feeling frustrated and powerless. Consistent ignorance of court-ordered arrangements affects the well-being of both you and your child. In these cases, taking swift, appropriate action protects your parental rights and ensures your child’s stability.

Steps to take when facing custody violations include:

  • Talk to your ex-spouse first
  • File to modify the custody order 
  • Pursue contempt of court action
  • Consult with qualified child custody lawyers

At Iafrate & Salassa, P.C., our practice has helped numerous clients with their family law challenges, including child custody problems. If you’re facing issues with child custody, we can assist you.

Try Direct Communication First

Before involving the courts, it’s worth attempting to resolve issues through direct communication with your ex-spouse. Many custody violations can stem from misunderstandings or scheduling conflicts rather than deliberate defiance.

Approach the conversation calmly and focus on your child’s needs. Avoid accusations or threats. Instead, express your concerns about how the violations affect your child’s routine and emotional well-being.

Consider Modifying the Custody Order

Sometimes custody violations occur because the original order no longer fits your family’s reality. Life circumstances change, and what worked initially may end up creating ongoing conflicts later on.

Filing a petition to modify the custody arrangement can address practical issues that lead to violations. Common reasons for modification include:

  • Work schedule changes
  • Relocation of one parent
  • Changes in the child’s needs or preferences
  • Consistent scheduling conflicts

The court will evaluate whether modifications serve your child’s best interests. This approach can prove more effective than repeatedly enforcing an arrangement that doesn’t work well.

File a Contempt of Court Action

When other approaches fail, filing a contempt action formally notifies the court that your ex-spouse isn’t following the custody order. This process requires presenting evidence of violations, such as missed visits, late pickups, unauthorized schedule changes, or other similar deviations, and demonstrating that your ex-spouse willfully disobeyed the court order. 

Filing contempt of court can result in various consequences for the violating parent. Courts may order makeup parenting time, impose fines, require counseling, or even modify custody arrangements. In severe cases, contempt of court can result in jail time.

Consult with Experienced Child Custody Lawyers

Dealing with custody violations requires legal understanding to protect your rights and your child’s interests, especially if the situation involves safety concerns, parental alienation, or repeated defiance of court orders. An experienced lawyer can evaluate your situation and recommend the most effective course of action.

Child custody lawyers understand how courts handle violation cases and can help you gather compelling evidence if needed. They can also represent you in contempt proceedings or modification requests.

Your Child’s Best Interests are Worth Protecting

Custody order violations can disrupt your child’s stability and routine, and even potentially cause emotional harm. Taking prompt action sends a clear message that court orders must be respected while protecting your children and your parental rights. Remember, though, that successful resolution often requires patience and persistence.

The experienced child custody lawyers at Iafrate & Salassa, P.C. have helped numerous families navigate custody violations effectively. Our team understands the emotional toll these situations take and provides compassionate guidance throughout the legal process.

Contact us today to discuss your custody concerns and consider your available legal options. We’re here to help you protect your rights and your child’s future.

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